Listening In
Part One
Ring.
"Yuy speaking."
"I just had the shittiest day of my life. I seriously think God has some monsterous grudge against me I just haven't figured out yet."
"You need to come over?"
"Hell yeah. Now okay?"
"I did offer, Duo. What do you need?"
"Pizza, beer, and a movie. Preferably with aliens."
"Damn. That is bad."
"I know, I haven't needed anything more than pizza since Quatre's Christmas party. Remember, the thing with Hilde, the tequila, and the macarena?"
"How on earth could I forget, you stayed over for like a week and practically ate me out of my house. What in God's name happened this time?"
"Jesus, Yuy, I haven't even finished processing it yet. Anyhow, I'd probably use the rest of this month's phone bill trying to explain. Let me just tell you... the highlight of my day was either getting my ass slapped by that creepy new kid in Chem, burning my hand making oatmeal this morning, or coming home and getting a chunk the size of Texas bit out of my hand by that satanic rodent."
"...What did you do to make Flopsy bite you?"
"Nothing! I was just putting some of that new rabbit food in his cage, you know that "Happy Rabbit" shit we bought last week, and he bit me!"
"He probably thought you were a carrot or something."
"My finger does not look like a fucking carrot. The rabbit is just a demon from the bowels of hell. Why did I buy that long-eared beast again?"
"Because you have a guilt complex and when you hit a "poor, innocent rabbit" driving home from Illinois you decided you needed to buy another rabbit to atone for it."
"That's fucking retarded. Some best friend you are, you should have talked me out of such a stupid idea. Now I'm going to get fucking rabies."
"..."
"I swear to God, Yuy, that laugh actually passes your lips and I'll kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week."
"Laugh, what laugh? I would never laugh at you... The pizza will be here in fifteen minutes. Pepporoni and pineapple, right?"
"Ah, that's why you're my best friend. My favorite! I'll be there in ten if I don't get into some freak accident on the way there. Anything about flash floods, tornadoes, or perhaps King Kong in the news lately?"
"No, Duo."
"Right, see you in ten then. Unless some terrorist decides to bomb the subway. Don't be surprised if I never show up. And Flopsy needs his cage cleaned every two days."
"..."
"Oh, shut the hell up you bastard. Bye."
"Aa."